I spent the week (end) on the Jersey Shore

Back in my early twenties I spent four months on a cross country road trip through Canada and the US. I was with my best friend from University and we drove and slept all over the US and Canadialand in our two tone blue Mercury Marquis - cleverly named "Bluey". One of our stops was New Jersey to meet up with one half of an awesome couple we had met in the US Virgin Islands.

This couple had an incredibly romantic story. They had dated in High School, broken up and gone on with their lives. She had gotten married, had kids and sadly divorced. He had remained single. They reconnected and were living happily ever after. Great story, great couple. They took us to the this great bar on the other side of the island and introduced us to the most fantastic drink ever - a Bushwacker (Bailey's, Amaretto, Kahlua, Rum, Grand Marnier, Creme of Coconut - deadly delishness!!!). They were fun and interesting and had a great story. They said that if we were ever heading to Jersey (where she lived) or Ottawa (where he lived), we could deffo stay with them.

So we called her from Maryland and the silence on the phone when we announced that we were on our way was a little scary. After a few moments of awkward silence she confessed to us that 99% of the romantic story outlined above was true. The one tiny detail they had left out was that she was still married. So instead of a romantic vacation between two former flames who had magically reconnected, we had been privy to a dirrty weekend between a cheater and her lover.

So long story short, we were welcome to come stay, but she was actually heading to the famed Jersey Shore for a week with her children, friends, friends kids, nannies, and her secret lover and we should go down there with them instead. And we did. It was one of the crazier weeks of our life. Not only did we meet her husband and have to continue the lie she had told about her trip to the Caribbean, but we also had to aid in the cover-up during the week away with a bunch of kids. It was a little nutty. There were two houses and hotel room to aid in the conspiracy, an elaborate story about why her lover was there, and we had to continually lie to a bunch of children and their nannies (who clearly knew what was up & were snickering about it the whole time).

It was a wild and crazy week on the Jersey Shore. But my week ain't got nothing on the insanity that is MTV's newest reality show - aptly titled Jersey Shore. Eight 20-something Italian-American shacked up in a house together for the summer. From the first two episodes I have generalised that all Italian-Americans have nicknames - like Sweetheart and my personal favourite "The Situation". Also, all Italian-American males look like poster children for roid rage. Apparently guido and guidette are acceptable terms of endearment for people of Italian-American descent. It takes some guidettes about 4 hours to get ready to go out to a club. Italian-Americans pray before meals, but have no problem f*cking the first skank that takes her g-string off in your hot tub. I think that this show will fill the void left by The Hills and The City very nicely.

It has vapid whores who do not know how to dress, obscenely muscled chauvinistic men who like to punch things, high dramarama, higher hemlines, and even higher hair. There are more styling products in this show than I have ever encountered on television - even more than Susan Lucci on All My Children. It is crazy ridiculously atrocious television and I will be watching it every week.

I do not recall any Guido's or Guidette's in my week at the Jersey Shore. The dysfunction I was dealing with was total and complete WASP dysfunction. We do not keep in touch with either of them. We did stay with him in Ottawa, but lost touch after a few years. One day I will write a book, or at least a different kind of blog about my travel stories...... This one is one of the saner normal things that happened during those 4 months on the road. Eek! The memories....

XO

LC does Fashion Week

Lauren "LC" Conrad has been spotted in New York making the rounds of Fashion Week and I gotta say that fleeing The Hills seems to have agreed with her. She looks fabulous - relaxed and relieved to be free from the over the top faux-dramarama of MTV's hit reality show.

A little too much make-up if you ask me... but she still looks damn good. Lauren was front and centre for both the Philip Tam and Nanette Lepore shows, and also made her way to Radio city for the MTV Video Music Awards on Sunday Night. It is so interesting that last year it would have been Lauren presenting an award instead of Kristin Cavallari. This year I wouldn't have even known she was there except I spotted her sitting behind Katy Perry - who had more air time than pretty much anyone at the awards. I wonder what she did to get that? Hmph.

While in New York, Lauren was also seen in the Meatpacking District shooting an ad for Mark, the Avon make up line she represents. This looks a lot more comfortable and relaxed than the fancy get-up she had on for the fashion shows she was attending.

Oh and Lauren's new clothing line for Kohl's launched this week as well. I am a fan of Lauren. I liked her on both Laguna Beach and The Hills. I was contemplating breaking up with The Hills when I heard she was leaving. But now that Kristin is set to bring on the completely manufactured dramarama, I am pretty sure I am gonna keep watching. New York Times bestselling author, fashion designer. She is definitely not resting on the success of The Hills.

Oh Lauren Conrad, is there anything you can't do?

XO

Or Maybe it's Always about Lady Gaga?

Oh Lady Gaga. You knew that I would have to write something abut this. I can't let something this big go slide by without commenting on it.

First off, congrats on the Best New Artist Award. I'm gonna say it was completely deserved, pretty much because I think the rest of the nominees were rappers and I am not a fan of the rap music. Gonna also give you props for the performance. It was dramatic and interesting and you sounded great.

Crap, I think I was supposed to save the other compliment for the end of the post. You know, the "sandwich" technique where you say all the bad stuff in the middle and temper it with a compliment at the start and end..... I learnt it in management training. Oh well.

Because...... Seriously? This is what you chose to wear to an Awards show. Let me clarify, these are what you chose to wear? Sigh. Some people are raving about the "avant garde"ness of it all. The cutting edgeness. The fact that you are able to think outside the box....... to all of these people I say bah!

You are a singer. And a damn good singer. And no-one talks about that. They talk about the wacky. The showing up with Kermit the Frog. They talk about the 5 (or was it 6) costume changes...... geez, even Ms America contestants don't have that many changes of clothes at the pageant. You could maybe get away with that sh*t if you were hosting the Daytime Emmy's. But not at MTV.

And you know what really sucks about your performance...... Pink totally blew it out of the water with her aerobatic amazingness. But if you had sat there with a piano and belted the cr*p out of that song, that I would remember it. And write about it.

XO

PS: In case I wasn't clear..... these outfits are all from the same night. Yes, that is 6 costume changes in one night. Sigh.

It's always about Madonna

On Sunday night at Radio City Music Hall in New York City, the MTV Video Music Awards were handed out. Yes, Kanye's latest f*ckery occurred during an actual Award Ceremony, where a ton of other things happened!

The evening started off with Madonna introducing a tribute to Michael Jackson. In a speech that to me was completely indulgent, as it was more about her than him, she also managed to make the entire audience feel guilty for abandoning the King of Pop when he needed us most. If I had his number, maybe I would have called...... I get what her point was, comparing their similar career paths and all, but really Madonna? Does everything have to be about you?

I think she looked pretty good. Although her hair had a 70's B-movie actress thing going on, she looked hawt. A number of people have compared her look to Faye Dunaway who for some inexplicable reason was also in attendance. I will simply let the pictures speak for themselves. I am just glad that Madge had the good sense to keep her scary arms hidden. I guess Jesus Luz had done something naughty and gotten himself grounded, cause I didn't see any pictures of him in attendance. I wonder what he does to get put in a time out? Did he not share his Tonka trucks with Rocco and David?

The tribute was decent, with dancers coming out dressed like MJ, and performing to some of his most memorable songs while also pulling of some of his most famous moves. There was the one guy who couldn't do that whole crazy lean thing from Smooth Criminal. It would have been fine, except buddy was front and centre. LMAO!

Janet came out during Scream & girlfriend looked pissed. Maybe she had heard Madonna's whole "I know he's gone, but what about me" speech? Regardless, Janet was fierce and while her dancing wasn't at quite the same level as the others on stage, she did an admirable job. Her grief, out of all of the Jackson's, is the most real to me. The rest of them seem to be using their son's/brothers death as a way to advance their own agenda. Of course, I am not speaking of his mother or children. I am pretty much looking at Father Joe, and siblings LaToya and Jermaine. All of whom make me sick to my stomach.

It was a relatively dignified tribute to the King of Pop, with many in attendance being moved to tears watching the iconic poses and moves of Michael Jackson. For the remainder of the show, host Russell Brand continually made references to the entire ceremony being a tribute, which was nice. And he didn't even make one joke about Michael, which frankly I found a little surprising......

XO

Kanye West = Douchebag

Kanye West made America's Sweetheart Cry.

And more importantly for him, he made his f*ckery the major talking point from last night's MTV Video Music Awards. None of us are not talking about the tribute to Michael Jackson, or Pink's amazing performance, or Lady Gaga's multiple whacked out outfits (well, we are talking about that one just a little).

No we are talking about Kanye West who thought that he had the right to get up on stage during Taylor Swift's acceptance for Best Female Video, because he thought that Beyonce's video should have won instead. Taylor had just finished saying that she never thought she would win a "Moon Man" because she was a country singer, and then Kanye drags his drunk ass onstage and completely ruins the moment for her. Ugh.

It doesn't matter if he or anyone else thinks that Taylor shouldn't have won. She did. Voted on by MTV viewers. Kanye disrespected Taylor, he disrespected Beyonce, he disrespected everyone who voted. He is such an asshole. He may not be happy with the result - which many are regarding as an upset - but nothing gives him the right to do that. Who the fuck does he think he is?

He is a grown man. Taylor Swift is 19 years old. And she showed exactly how much more mature than him she is by delivering an awesome live performance only minutes after having her acceptance speech ruined by Kanye the douche. She is one classy, professional 19 year old right?

After behaving like a dick, Kanye was apparently asked to leave. He grabbed his trashy famewhore piece of ass and went home to write a half assed apology on his blog. ALL CAPS LOCK. His drunken rambling was removed pretty quickly, but of course, thanks to the magic of the interwebs, here it is below.

F*cking idiot. Who let him near a computer in that state? Srsly? Does the man not have a publicist? And the second faux-pology posted the next day was not much better.

“I feel like Ben Stiller in ‘Meet the Parents’ when he messed up everything and Robert De Niro asked him to leave… That was Taylor’s moment and I had no right in any way to take it from her. I am truly sorry.”

Sigh.

He also showed his apologetic ass on Leno's new show. Teared up when Jay asked what his mom would think and based on the applause from the audience, all is now forgiven. Leno totally pandered to him, thanking him for being man enough guarantee him good ratings, sorry to show up in light of what happened. Ugh.

Kanye may be a talented artist (and that is debatable), but I am so totally & completely over his continual egotistical outbursts when he feels he has the right to dispute anything he doesn't agree with. Gah.

Beyonce continued on her quest for sainthood when she won for Video of the Year. Saying that she remembered how amazing her first VMA award was, she asked Taylor to come back on stage to actually deliver an acceptance speech. Yay Beyonce. I am not really a fan, but that was classy classy classy.

Oh and Kanye is a f*cking douche.

XO

OMG! Bella cut her hair?

Over the weekend, the three stars of the Twilight Saga (and 2nd stringer Ashley Greene) made a quick trip to NYC for the MTV Video Music Awards. Taylor Lautner (Jacob Black), Kristen Stewart (Bella Swan) and Robert Pattinson (Edward Cullen) were on hand to present a brand spanking new trailer for The Twilight Saga - New Moon. 90% of said trailer had already been leaked online and I had already given it an enthusiastic two thumbs up.

Honestly, this 2 minute trailer for New Moon > the whole Twilight movie..... Srsly. The effects, the styling, the make-up, the lighting (good-bye budget blue tint!)....all of it is looking far superior to Twilight. We got a better look at the Volturi.... scary! And more of the werewolves.... I really wish Laurent didn't have to die :(

I hate to diss Catherine Hardwicke's skill as a director, cause in spite of what I wrote above, I did like Twilight, and loved Thirteen. But Chris Weitz seems to have be making/have made a much more mature movie, and seems to have taken the whole process a lot more seriously than Harwicke. I guess that is a lot easier with a budget that is double that of Twilight though right?

More more importantly, what can we glean from the photos of Rob & Kristen at the Award show. Neither of them walked the Red Carpet. I don't believe there were any shots of them during the ceremonies - were they even in the audience? Let us dissect a few photos and jump to conclusions based on a single piece of celluloid! That is one of my favourite games.

His arm around her totally confirms they are shagging right? She does have her hand inside his jacket at one point. OMG they are practically undressing each other in front of the photogs! And more importantly in front of young impressionable Taylor! How shocking.

Look at the way she is looking up at him. Total lust in her eyes right? Like she can't wait to get him in the backseat of the limo and rip his clothes off ...... crap, maybe that is just what I wanna do? Okay, I have to crush on my girl Kristen for a second. She looks so amazing. Love the dress and the hair and the whole look. Oh, her hair is pinned up, not cut. She also seems a whole lot more comfortable with the whole twi-hard insanity. I don't think I heard an "um" in there anywhere! She looks fantastic. Why would anyone be surprised if Rob wants her? He's hawt, she's hawt. Shag away young kids, shag away!

Young Mr Lautner seems to have stepped up his posing. No more blinding white teeth. Which is a good thing in my opinion. Cocky tilt of his head. He totally thinks he is the sh*t. Some would say he looks all dark and mysterious and sexy.... I would never say that, because, for reasons I have explained repeatedly my answer to the hawtness of Taylor Lautner is and will always be.... a world of no.

Ashley's gig on the carpet made me totally flashback to little high school. Her outfit was alright. Shoes = good. Dress = okay. Hair and make-up = not so much. Maybe when she gets back to Vancity, I will ask to borrow her bump-its! She is such a pretty pretty thing, why does she do this to herself? And her "job" as a "style correspondent" for MTV. Sigh. Girlfriend really want to milk everything she can from her Twilight experience doesn't she? Is there any red carpet she is not willing to appear on? I get that she is young and was probably nervous to be interviewing celebrities like J-Lo. But did it not sound like she was a journalism student interviewing the popular kids?

The cast booted it before the ceremony was even over. Overnight flight back to Vancity to continue work on Eclipse. Can you imagine - flying to New York for a 30 second on air appearance and then flying back? Jeez.

XO

"Bad Seed" stirring shizz up on The Hills

At the end of it's last season, I had decided that faux reality MTV show "The Hills" was going to be tossed onto the trash-heap of shows that I no longer wasted my time on. Lauren Conrad was pretty much the only sane person on the show in my opinion, and with her leaving I assumed that would mean we would be subjected to the contrived, ridiculous antics of Heidi and Spencer and the lame attempts by Audrina and Stephanie Pratt to increase their air-time on the show.

Then it was announced that Laguna Beach bad girl Kristin Cavallari had deigned to return to the MTV fold after her attempts at an actual acting career were not going as she had planned. Kristen knows why she was hired - because she has a reputation for stirring up trouble where ever she goes and she seems quite happy to live up to this.

Don't you just love it? And hate yourself for loving it? I know I do! None of them even bother arguing that it is an actual reality show anymore. Cause they knew they were not fooling any of us! Clearly Heidi and Spencer are going to continue with their contrived and ridiculous antics. I am certain that Audrina, Stephanie and now apparently Heidi Montag will be trying super hard not to be as irrelevant as ever. And Jayde's face will still scare me just a little. Aside from the return of Kristen, the only other redeeming quality of this season is that the fabulous Lo is still on the show. Although I really kinda wish she wasn't. Lo my girl, you are so much better than The Hills. I hope you know that.

I know that this show is bullsh*t. I know that it is staged and "scripted" and is not reality. But it is so much fun to watch. I can't stop myself from watching. I know I will be watching, Monday nights on MTV Canada at 7.00 or 10.00pm. September 27th..... "The B*tch is back"

Team Kristen till the end.... you?

XO

June 24, 2009

Was hurting a little today at work. Pizza for lunch totally worked. But a major minor screw up by someone who was not me, kind of made the afternoon a little annoying. Grrr.

But, my mantra is slowing working down to 1...... currently the chant is sitting at 4 days left until Vacation. With that thought running through my head, I can get through anything. Well, except for the fact one of my fave peeps is on vacay now. Who the hell am I going to talk to at work? How dare people not revolve their lives around me. Bah!

True Blood Rehash

I finally got around to watching Episode 2. OMFG I love this show so hard. So many things are fabulous about this episode I don't know where to begin.

Lafayette - amazing amazing amazing. Using a dismembered leg to escape. So good. Doing a deal to try and save himself. So fecking good. I love him and I hope he is not dead :( They had better not kill him off.

I knew that Jessica was damaged goods. And I kinda hope Bill kills her evil dad.

Oh and Eric...... Eric is swoon-worthy - yes? Being worried about his highlights - ha ha ha. And then the shop keeper thinking that Bill and He are lovers. Loved it.

I heard that in the books, Sookie and him get together - I kinda want it to happen, just cause I would like to see him nekkid. Alexander Skarsgard. Hawt. Have you seen him in Lady Gaga's video "paparrazzi". Holy mother.......

Okay so I cannot for the life of me figure out how to add in a video - embed I think is the word the kids use? I have tried and it won't let me. Son of a bitch. One day....... Anyways, take the time to click on this link and watch the teaser for season 2 of True Blood. If it doesn't make you quiver just a little, well..... I don't want to pass judgment.



And the Oscar goes to....... one of these 10 Films?

The Academy of Motion Picture Arts & Sciences announced that in 2010 one of 10 films from 2009 will win the Oscar for Best Film. 10 Best Film nominees? Clearly a response to the supposed snubbing of movies such as The Dark Knight & Wall-E in this year's race.

Not sure how I feel about this one. Love the Academy Awards. Watch them religiously. this year, I even allowed people in my apartment to watch them with me (they brought food and booze, so I could cope for a night). But 10 best film nominees? What, is New Moon gonna get nominated next year? Maybe. Oh that would be awesome. Can you imagine the write-in campaign for that. Twi-hards would totally lose their shizz over that. It would be kinda worth it just to see the screaming, hysterical, crying fans. I know, I am going to hell.

Also, that means the winning film will need even less votes to claim the Golden Statue? Is it diluting the votes too much? Maybe they could do a kind of proportional representation kind of vote. All voters indicate their Top 3 preferences. those films with the top 5 votes move through to the "second round" - whereby the second preferences of those voters whose films were kicked out are included. Then you could go to the top 3 and do the same thing? Kinda complicated I know, but could work. And would mean that more of the votes would count right. I am a genius right? Srsly. It would totally work. Just my thoughts for the little they are worth.

Twilight Saga Update

I am a fan of Kristen Stewart. I have quite the girl-crush on her. I think she is a decent actress (clearly she must be good as she has worked with and been hired by some of the best in the biz), and I like that she totally doesn't care what anyone thinks. She is awkward and doesn't interview well, but she knows it. Love her hard.

I have high hopes for The Runaways. I am confident that they will do a good job. Kristen sand in Into the Wild and was pretty good. She deffo has the hard-core bitch face down and is working with Joan herself to get the moves down. Can't wait to see it. Lots of photos around the interweb of her in character. She looks bad ass.

They released the cover art of new movie version of New Moon. And Twi-hard moms everywhere are totally torn. "OMG Taylor is so hot, but he is the same age as my son/daughter so I can't think of him that way" I am sorry but i don't get the whole Taylor thing. It is not that I am Team Edward (which I totally am), he just doesn't do it for me. To each their own. I have said it before, sadly I need a little asshole in my man and Taylor is just to sweet and nice.

And Rob...... sigh. Still filming in NYC... still being hounded by crazy fans. This blood is not due to them though....I think ;)

Guilty Summer Show has been decided - Woot!!

Was gonna be Big Brother, which is always good for making you feel like you need a shower after watching it. But it is on a few times a week and who wants to make that much of a commitment to a show over the summer? So tonight I watched the inaugural episode of Real World Cancun.

10 minutes in they are talking about "promise piercings" & wanting to be the first one to "get some ass". I am sold. It's gonna be a dirty dirty summer in Cancun. This is the cast. They look like such a clean living bunch don't they!

Wednesdays at 10.00pm on MTV. Maybe at 7.00pm as well?. Hmmm. Real World Cancun - tell your friends. It's gonna be a horny, slutty, drama-filled summer and you know you wanna know what happens!

Okay, again I need to get myself organised for tomorrow. Big day. Meeting with our CEO to "chat" about anything we want. Eeek! What to say. Had some downsizing in January and morale is shot to shizz so he is meeting with everyone to see where we are at. Good in theory, but I have no idea what I am gonna say. I am kinda cynical and sarcastic and often speak without thinking so I really have to watch myself. Wish me luck.

XO