2010 Scandal #1?

For me, the 2010 Winter Olympic Games coming to my city is not so much about the sports. I have no tickets to any actual events - so if you have any Gold Medal Hockey tickets you would like to donate to me... that would be awesome. Ha! That is not quite true. I am going to the Dress Rehearsal for the Opening Ceremony on Wednesday. Which is pretty cool. And no, I will not be sneaking in a camera or spilling any secrets, so don't ask :)

I know it sounds trite and cliched and tacky, but this is honestly a once in a life time opportunity. In spite of all the other crap going on in my life.... this is it. In just over 2 weeks, this will be over. And how much would it suck to let it pass me by? I live so close to all the action, I would be a fool to sit at home and bitch and moan about a few disruptions to my life.

And my fellow Australians are definitely embracing the mantra of once in a lifetime opportunity. I am sure you have all seen this big ass boxing kangaroo flag that they hung in the Aussie quarters at the Athletes Village. It has made headlines around the world as one of the first bona fide scandals of these Games. They are not the only country to have flags hanging. They are not the only country to have massive flags hanging. The IOC (not Canada, Vancouver or VANOC) kinda sorta wanted it taken down. Something to do with it being a trademarked product and not an actual country flag. The whole thing was blown totally way out of proportion but praise Jeebus the IOC "backed down" and the Aussies can keep their Boxing Kangaroo flying high. Hello Mountain....meet the Molehill. People were freaking over nothing.

To that I say.... Aussie Aussie Aussie Oy Oy Oy!!!

XO

Settle the f*ck down Twihards

I find this story equal parts annoying and amusing. Normally I would call bullsh*t on a story like this, but it comes from Deadline Hollywood - a source that is generally pretty spot on. Nikki Finke - love her or hate her - normally gets her stuff right.

According to a report on her site, fans of Kristen Stewart have been bombarding potential buyers of Welcome To The Rileys, pleading with them to purchase the rights to release the film. In an effort to ensure that they are able to see Kristen on screen as a teenage stripper, apparently these fans have gotten a hold of said executives emails and are using twitter, text and email to beg for a distribution deal for this movie. No word yet on whether their efforts have been successful.

Holy mother of crazy. Assuming this is true, and I am going with it being true simply because it is hysterical and disturbing, What the f*ck?? Badgering movie executives to buy a movie because you are a fan of one of the actors in it is one of the most ridiculous things I have ever heard. But I am not surprised. These are the same fans that have been known to write petitions because they don't like the proposed director of Eclipse. The same fans that wrote and delivered a letter to Summit when the very small role of Victoria was recast. Fans that will inundate message boards to defend Kristen Stewart, Robert Pattinson and the Twilight series if someone deigns to say something even remotely disparaging. Some of them are just a little crazy.

Now, don't mistake me. I am a fan of Kristen Stewart. Look back through previous posts. I think she is a little bit of awesome and have even been known to write a few comments on message boards in defensive of the Stew. I really want to see Welcome to the Rileys. I read the script and think it has potential. What I take issue with is the fact that although the intentions are from a good place, treating the makers, cast and crew of this movie with such disrespect irritates me. WTF were they thinking? That this would make the buyers want to purchase the film? They are turning what is a complicated high level decision into the equivalent of a high school petition to get a new brand of pop in the cafeteria.

XO

What Were You Thinking Drew?

I will likely do a full wrap up of the tonight's Screen Actor Guild Awards tomorrow, but this could not wait. What in the name of all that is sacred is up with Drew Barrymore? Nothing in the styling of this look is okay. I am actually okay with the dress. The colour looks good and the cut fits her well. Although it does look a little heavy, as if it may fall down at the slightest movement. The problem with this whole look is the make-up and the hair. The make up is atrocious. If you can pull it off, I am all for a pale lip - but not when it makes you look like you do not have any lips. And as Drew is someone who can afford to get her eyebrows groomed to perfection, I am also going to call her out on that. Uneven and has she never heard of a brush to clear away the strays? Geez. And speaking of brushes......I think she let a 12 year old do her hair. It looks like ass. There really aren't any words for it. F*ck me. You are coming off one of the best years of your life professionally and this is how you chose to leave the house for a major Award Ceremony - for which you are nominated. Sigh.

And of course she won..... Of course she stumbled up on stage working the ditzy, cutesy I am so sweet act for all she could. I am not saying that she is not sweet. In real life, outside of all the Hollyweird bulls*it, she is prolly a really nice girl. But the way she is in public - all smiley and "aw shucks".... it drives me up the f*cking wall and makes me dislike her. And I don't want to dislike Drew. She is Gertie from ET for f*cks sake. But her continued annoying and grating performances at Awards Ceremonies is not making this easy for me.

XO

J-Love knows how to get over a broken heart

Has Jennifer Love Hewitt never heard of Wine, Chocolate and or drunken sexcapades with completely inappropriate people? That is the therapeutic way to deal with a break up. Who in their right mind would conceive of BEDAZZLING HER VAGINA with Swarovski crystals when they are broken up with? Granted, this chick is a little kooky - how could we forget her playing tennis in a bikini and wedge heels? But this is beyond redikulous!!!

What's the craziest thing you ever did to get over a break up? I take break up's very maturely. All I did was move to another country. Heh!

XO

PS: I didn't even mention that J-Love has written a book! Bwahhhhhhh.

Channing Tatum Has an Owie on his Package.

Sadly, Channing Tatum does not have fond memories of his time filming his latest soldiering movie The Eagle of the Ninth in Scotland recently. It was cold, wet, physically demanding, he was away from his wife.....oh and a crew member poured boiling water on his penis. Yes you read that correctly. Scalding hot water was poured on his penis, and Channing not only filled Details magazine in on the particulars of what happened, he also showed the lucky reporter photos of said burnt penis.

According to the magazine, "Tatum was pretend-soldiering one raw, wet October day in the Scottish Highlands. The action required him to wade in ice-cold water, which, despite a high-tech wetsuit, could be withstood for only a few minutes. "The only way to keep warm was by pouring a mix of boiling water and river water down your suit. We were finally done shooting for the day, and one of the crew guys asks if I want to warm up before I go. I'm like, Nah, I'm good. And then I thought, Why not? Thing is, he'd forgotten to dilute the kettle water. So he poured scalding water down my suit. And I was trying to pull the suit away from my body to somehow get away from the boiling water, and the more I pulled the suit away, the lower the water went. It just went straight down and pretty much burned the skin off the head of my dick."

Tatum was rushed to the nearest hospital—an hour away. Before long, the ice pack he was applying to the burn lost its chill. "I said to the driver, who was ex-special-forces Marines, 'You might have to knock me out, because I don't know if I can take the pain. Just grab something and hit me on the back of my head.'" Morphine finally KO'd the agony, and a team of doctors salved and bandaged his wound. "I had five guys looking at my shriveled, burned penis," he says proudly."

I am trying not to laugh about this one. I can imagine that having scalding hot water poured onto a penis would hurt like a son of a bitch. But come. Can you imagine that crew member, going home to his/her wife/girlfriend/husband/boyfriend and when being asked "How was work dear?" having to confess to that. "It was great, until I poured a kettle of boiling water down the star of the movie's wetsuit, burning the skin off his penis". Come on. It is a little funny. Really really really funny.

Many many people in the world find this man very very attractive. I personally do not. He just doesn't do it for me. And now he has a burnt penis. And he drinks Coors Lite. Case closed.

XO

PS: Penis penis penis. I think I hadn't said the word penis enough in this wee post. PENIS.

KFC Ad = Misguided not Racist

The furor surrounding a 20 second ad about Cricket and KFC is just a little ridiculous doncha think? Apparently this ad was considered racist when it was uploaded to YouTube and was seen by American audiences. While I do acknowledge that at first glance this little ad may be seen to be promoting racial stereotypes that rowdy black people will calm down if you give them some fried chicken, a few contextual points should be noted.

First up these supporters are not African American. They are from the West Indies. That being said, there doesn't seem to be any negative stereotypes associated with people from the West Indies and Fried Chicken. One could make the argument that those who are condemning this ad are making offensive stereotypes themselves for assuming that the people in this ad are African American.

Secondly, when the white dude says he is in an "awkward" situation, it is because he is the lone Aussie supporter amongst a whole schwack of rowdy West Indies Supporters, not because he is surrounded by black people. I think it would have been prudent for the ad team to consider including one white supporter apart from the white dude.

Finally, I would hazard a guess that the majority of Australians are not aware of any stereotype regarding African Americans and Fried Chicken. Geez, outside of the US, there are probably not many who aware of this stereotype.

KFC quickly caved to the outcry and have removed the ad from the air. But the debate rages on. My opinion - for what it is worth. Racist - no. I do not think that the Ad men/women who came up with the concept for the ad made a conscious decision to make an ad that would be construed as racist. Oh and did I mention that the ad was never intended to air in the only segment of the population that would find it racist or offensive.

I completely understand that this ad viewed in a vaccuum may be considered racist. I understand why so many people are up in arms and offended by it's content. But I do not think it was intentionally racist. Misguided most definitely. I am pretty sure that a few of the marketing team at KFC Australia may be looking for new jobs right about now.

XO

One Tweet is worth $10,000???

Up until now I had made a concerted and deliberate effort to keep this wee blog a Kardashian free zone. It is not that I have anything against them personally. I am sure they are all very nice people. But I just don't understand why they are famous? I don't get it. It bugs me a little. So why would I want to give them even more press. What with the sex tape (Kim), quickie marriage (Khloe ?) and the unplanned pregnancy (Kourtney ?), I figured they didn't need any more publicity. Sorry, the only one whose name I am sure of is Kim.

While I was aware that some celebrities were being paid to Tweet, I had no fricking clue that it was so widespread. Or so organised. That there was a company that would hook up celebrities with the products. I guess I shouldn't really be that surprised. It is just like any paid advertising right? I mean stars have been paid to carry specific brands of water (Jennifer Aniston) and even anti smoking aids (Lindsay Lohan - who still smokes so it clearly didn't work).

According to the Daily Mail out of the UK, Kim Kardashian is one of the highest paid to tweet celebs out there at the moment:

Some might question her apparent celebrity status, however Kim Kardashian certainly seems to have acquired some pulling power. According to a report out this week, the U.S. socialite allegedly commands up to $10,000 (£6,300) for every tweet she posts on her Twitter account as part of her contract with in-stream advertising company Ad.ly. Kim, 29, is the highest earner on the company's books and the most popular on their roster of celebrity tweeters.

The former best friend of Paris Hilton currently has over 2million followers on Twitter and Ad.ly have put her tweeting services up for hire alongside U.S. stars such as Lauren Conrad and Dr. Drew. It is thought some of Kardashian's advertisers include Reebok EasyTone and Carl's Jr, the fast food chain. The reality TV star often mentions using products from both companies, in fact out of 30 tweets on her page, five mention products from either company. Which means, if the reports of her earnings per post are to be believed, she was paid $50,000. Derek Rey, co-founder of Ad.ly, told U.S. website PRNewser that Kardashian can command $10,000 per tweet and that his company limits its publishers - as it calls Kardashian - to one paid tweet per day so as to not alienate her audience. 'We're not a polluter,' Rey said.

Source

Kardashian has taken to her blog to explicitly refute the claims that she is being paid to tweet about Carl's Jr. But strangely no mention is made of the shoes - Reebok EasyTone? Hmm.... It is the absence of the rebuttal that makes this so much more fun!

So I went to the site mentioned in the above article and I have to say, that in spite of it's douchebaggery, it is actually a pretty smart idea. According to the site: "The end of every Ad.ly tweet (except tweets for charity) is marked with "(Ad)" notifying your audience that this is an advertisement. In order to ensure authenticity, every Ad.ly Tweet has to be explicitly approved by the Twitter publisher and is disclosed as an ad."

I like that celebs can use it to raise cash for charity. That I am fine with. I still think they should let us know if it is a paid tweet. Big ups to Samantha Ronson, Greg Grunberg and the others who are doing it for charity. I am assuming that they are giving it ALL to charity, rather than just a little. But for the rest of them out there? Get a f*cking real celebrity endorsement. None of this paid to tweet crap.

Oh, and Kim honey, you ain't fooling no-one. You are a paid spokesperson for Carls Jr. Do you think anyone is gonna believe that anything you say about them is sincere? I don't care that it is insincere. I just wish you would own the insincerity. And speaking of insincerity, I am truly shocked that Spencer and Heidi have not jumped on this bandwagon. Srlsly. Wouldn't you think Speidi would be all over this?

XO

Ivana Trump is my new Hero

I am not a fan of bratty kids or Ivana Trump. Contrary to popular opinion from those in my life, it is not that I do not like children per se. I just like it more when kids that I do not know are far away from me. And it is not all kids, your children are probably fine. You know those kids who run around like crazy in restaurant, shops, movie theatres etc. they are the ones that bug me. The ones that have no manners. I am sure that your children are fine.

And Ivana Trump not only married Donald Trump, but called their daughter Ivanka. Enough said.

Never in my wildest dreams could I conceive of an instance where these two annoyances would collide. But yesterday, they did. In a way that I could never have imagined. Ivana Trump was physically escorted off of a plane in Florida because she yelled at some little brats who were running up and down the aisles of the first class cabin. This is the most fantastic news I have heard in a long while. Fantastic and amazing.

According to the Orlando Sentinel:

Ivana Trump, the first ex-wife of billionaire Donald Trump, was escorted by sheriff's deputies off a flight Saturday afternoon at Palm Beach International Airport after she screamed and cursed at children, authorities said.

Trump, 60, of Palm Beach, was seated in first class and apparently became irate because children were running up and down the aisle and screaming, Palm Beach County sheriff's officials said.

Trump, who last week filed for divorce from her third husband, has not been charged in the incident. The FBI declined to investigate, sheriff's officials said.

Flight attendants on the LaGuardia-bound Delta flight told deputies that they tried to calm Trump by offering her another seat and headphones. Trump instead became more belligerent.

The plane was just leaving gate C1 when the incident occurred, and the pilot decided to pull back to the gate and call for help, officials said.

According to the Sheriff's Office, Trump used the "f" word toward the crew and passengers, including children. Officials said she began screaming in vulgar terms for children to shut up.

Deputies asked Trump to voluntarily exit the plane, but they said she refused numerous times. Deputies then "physically escorted her off the aircraft," officials said.

Deputies said Trump repeatedly cursed at them as well. Trump's driver picked her up at the airport soon after.

Source

Okay, while I am not condoning Trump's behaviour - using curse words in front of and particularly to small children is never a good. But, WTF is up with anyone being allowed to roam the aisles of a plane during take off. Since when is that okay? Regardless of my whole bratty kids misbehaving rant and especially in light of the recent terrorist incident on that flight from Amsterdam to Detroit, again I say WTF? Flight attendants are like staff sergeants. Why would they allow the little pissers to run up and down the aisles of the plane once it has left the gate?

I really wish someone had this on You-tube. Would it not be amazing to see the refined, cultured, uber rich Ivana Trump cursing like a sailor and getting her designer clothed ass dragged off of a plane? Please let someone have it on tape. Please please please.

XO

Britney, Britney, Britney

My first thought when I saw this photo was "Nice Poncho." Now, they tell me that sarcasm doesn't always translate from the written word... so perhaps I should rephrase this to "Please, never wear this out of the house again" It is most definitely a world of NO.

My second thought was "Mom hair" - cause in the pic on the left it is total mom hair. And, yes I know she is an actual mom. It is just not Britney Spears hair. I was also a little bit thrilled at the possibility that this shorter do meant that he crappy ass weave days we finally behind her. It was a Festivus Miracle! Praise Jeebus.

But no. The miracle of Festivus has yet to reveal itself. The weave is still beyond words. Now, I may be a little slow about some things. But I will never understand how Britney can leave the house looking like that. Knowing that she will be followed and photographed from every angle. How do you leave, knowing your hair looks like that. I am not even remotely famous and I would never leave my apartment with that ratty, stringy mess. Throw on a touque, grab a cute hat, or - a novel concept for Brit-Brit apparently - run a f*cking comb through your hair.

Note to Papa Spears: I know that the conservatorship is possibly coming to an end. But seriously? Is that a good idea? I know it is just a case of lack of hair brushing..... but it is a slippery slope from simply not brushing out a weave, to shaving your head and attacking photogs with an umbrella. Just saying.

XO

Photo Credit: Bauer Griffin / Splash

Chris Brown is a whiny little bitch

Poor Chris Brown. Apparently he thinks that a few half assed apologies and some carefully orchestrated puff piece interviews should be sufficient to make up for the FACT that he beat down his girlfriend. Chris is whining to anyone that knows how to search on Twitter that some retailers are refusing to stock his album. Awww. Boo f*cking hiss to him! Could it be because he was convicted of beating the crap out of his girlfriend less than a year ago? And that maybe some consumers don’t want to see his f*cking CD on the shelves? In the 10 months or so since Chris Brown viciously assaulted Rhianna he has done nothing beyond what was mandated by the courts. And do not even try and argue that a half assed insincere apology on you-tube, followed by a useless interview on Larry King equals redemption.

And don’t even get me started on that smarmy, conceited interview on ABC a few weeks ago, where he basically accused the girl he beat of lying on national Television. That smirk on his face when he told Robin Roberts that Rhianna had heard his stupid f*cking apology song. I wish she had had the guts to call him on it as opposed to pandering to this little sh*t. Sorry, he makes me so furious. His arrogance and sense of entitlement is ridiculous.

Image courtesy of eonline

So poor, picked on Chris Brown is mad as hell that some mean retailers have chosen not to stock this new CD and he doesn’t care who hears saying both “I ain’t retracting sh*t” and the “industry can kiss my ass” on Twitter. For anyone and everyone to see. Oh Chris Brown. You arrogant, whiny, ignorant little prick. Why won’t you just go the f*ck away?

And when I innocently pointed out to Chris (on the Twitter) that perhaps the fact that he has been convicted of assault may be the reason said retailers are hesitant to have his CD in stock (okay, so maybe I also called him a whiny little bitch), the response from one of his fans (@AnthonySereda) was…… “I hope Chris Brown beats another woman….and I hope that woman is you”. Ladies and Gentleman. I bring you fans of Chris Brown….. hoping he beats women. My response to this? I hope he fucking tries.

XO

Lilo has a new Man?

I have often likened Lindsay Lohan to former train wreck Robert Downey Junior in that she will one day pull herself out of the gutter and become something more than a joke in Hollyweird. I think she has the potential to be a decent actress and unlike some of her current contemporaries in the tabloids (Paris Hilton, any Kardashian) I think she has actually contributed to the world with her craft as opposed to sapping the life force and IQ points from anyone that they encounter.

Unfortunately, I may need to rethink this position. I Know Who Killed me was on TV last night. And I cannot recall when I have seen such unmitigated crap before. And not only the ludicrous story. The acting was also pretty dismal. Actually it was beyond pretty dismal. At least Lindsay got in some practice on a stripper pole right? Cause the way things are going for her, she may be looking at an alternate career in the next few years.

I follow Lilo on the Twitter. Mainly for the Lulz. Most of her recent tweets have been pretty innocuous. The crack tweets that provide so much fodder for the bloggers have been few and far between in the past couple of weeks. But her random tweets to her ‘friends’ are amusing enough. Jumping into conversations between Samantha Ronson and Mindy Kaling, but never receiving a reply from either. She comes across as just another typical fan…. Someone just like the rest of us who @replies to celebrities, even though they rarely respond. It is honestly a little pathetic. But funny as hell for me, so I say @reply on Lindsay, @reply on!

I am also highly amused by her quiet trips to AA meetings surrounded by the paparazzi. As if she didn’t tip them off herself.The pictures are those above. And I gotta give Lilo props. She doesn’t look at all like a crack whore in these photos. Perfectly staged, fresh faced Lilo! Ready to be hired. Not gonna cause any problems on set at all. What is so interesting is that tons of celebrities are working the program, but I don’t really recall seeing photos of anyone else – except those fresh out of rehab – attending meetings. Lindsay is trying really really hard to convince us that she has buckled down and is working hard on a number of new projects.

Apparently that is what she was doing when she spent the night at How I Met Your Mother star Jason Segel’s house the other night. An overnight business meeting is how it was explained. Sure. They are “co-workers”. Pfft. We all know exactly what kind of business these two likely got up to. And to that, I say to Jason Segel….. snap the f*ck out of it. You can do better. Much much better. Even Barney wouldn’t go near that. And he would bang pretty much anything with a pulse.

XO

Why People Suck.

I am not really a fan of Adam Lambert's music. I am typically more of a "substance" rather than "show" person when it comes to musical taste. I was not very impressed with his performance at the American Music Awards last Sunday night. Not because of anything he did specifically, although I did find his whole performance completely over the top and unnecessary, it was also that I didn't feel that his vocals were very strong. However, the complete and total hypocritical bullsh*it taking place on American Network TV right now makes me want to support him.

In case you were not aware, Adam Lambert closed the American Music Awards show by shoving his crotch in a dancer's face, making out with another member of his band and doing something to someone crotch that completely reminds me of this stripper I saw once..... True and funny story ...... About 10 or so years ago I was at the North Burnaby Inn with a bunch of people from work. They had a $3.99 Roast Beef Dinner, and really cheap beer. This girl was dancing, doing her thing, and she got upset that the dudes in the first row were not paying attention to her. So she stuck her hand down her g-string, dug her fingers in there real good and then...ummm...how do I say this..... there is actually no way to say this without cringing...... she flicked her juices in their faces. It was both hysterical and disturbing. I have never seen anything like it. Maybe that is what Lambert was doing. Getting ready to flick the juices of one of his dancers in Jay Z's face?

Anyways. Off topic, but funny as hell right? Back to Adam Lambert. There was an "outcry" after his performance. ABC edited most of it out of the West Coast feed and apparently received over 1,500 complaints. And not one of them was about his screechy performance. As a result of this "outcry", Lambert was disinvited from a scheduled performance on Good Morning America. Citing concerns over whether his performance would be appropriate for early morning TV. Cowards. F*cking cowards. Not because of anything he might do. But because they caved to the f*cking conservatives. CBS's The Early Show snapped him up quickly and he appeared on their show on Tuesday. Good on them right? Way to not completely overreact right? At first.

During the interview they had with Lambert, they chose to blur out the kiss between Lambert and his bandmate, but showed that stupid Madonna-Brtiney kiss from the MTV Awards a few years ago. When questioned by advocacy groups and entertainment shows about this blatant double standard this is the response they gave: "We gave this some real thought. The Madonna image is very familiar and has appeared countless times including many times on morning television. The Adam Lambert image is a subject of great current controversy, has not been nearly as widely disseminated, and for all we know, may still lead to legal consequences.” BULL-F*CKING-SH*T. What they should have said was: "We were to scared that seeing 2 men kiss would freak out our advertisers and incur the wrath of the bible belt." Again I say F*cking cowards.

But for me, this pales in comparison to what the powers that be at ABC decided. In a true demonstration of how f*cking insane people can be, Good Morning America invited convicted felon Chris Brown to be on their show. You remember Chris Brown right? He is the non-repentant asshole who beat the crap out of his girlfriend. Back in February, while in a moving car he choked, bit, punched, slammed her head into the window & dash of his $250,000 car and threatened to kill his girlfriend. Yes, he took a plea. Yes he apologised. But what has he actually done to show he is sorry? To the best of my knowledge, everything he has done has been mandated by a judge. There has been no actual regret. This is not cowardly. This is F*cking insane and infuriating and incomprehensible.

An openly gay entertainer may offend the viewing public? Because what - is he gonna go at it on stage with someone? Pfft! But an unrepentant abuser of women perfectly acceptable.

People wonder why I am so cynical and typically dislike people. This is why.

XO

The First of Chase?

Okay, so this is coming from Star magazine so is probably total bulls*it. And even if the woman in question actually made these comments, note that she is a professional fame-whore so again - probably total bulls*t. But this is just far too amusing to not comment on.....

Shauna Sands.... I don't really know what her claim to fame is. Porn Star? Playboy in the 90's? Married to and divorced from Lorenzo Lamas? Plastic surgery nightmare? She is all of these things (except for the porn star, of that I am not sure) Anyways, she has apparently told Star magazine that in 2003, she not only deflowered a then 18 year old Gossip Girl hottie Chace Crawford, but that they dated on and off for about a year.

I guess this could conceivably be true? An 18 year old guy dating a Playmate who is 14 years older than he is? I can imagine that would be pretty cool right? Even if she is a plastic woman....But really.... a boy as pretty as Chace waiting until he was 18 to pop his cherry? Doubtful. I am sure that he had chicks throwing themselves at his perfectly manicured self from the age of about 14. Sh*t I am sure that his friend's mothers were hitting on him daily.

I am calling bulls*it on Shauna Sands. I am sure that she has someting to pimp. A book? A make-up line for the Home Shopping Network? My guess is she is bitter about her ex-hubby's reallity show and is looking for some press of her own.....

'Nuff said.

XO

Cop Convicted in SJP Surrogate Theft - yes, a Cop!

Since the birth in late June, and the release of one family photo a week later, we have seen very little of Marion & Tabitha Broderick - twin daughters of Sarah Jessica Parker and Matthew Broderick, born via a surrogate. The family have kept a very low profile, which is pretty surprising considering Sarah has been hard at work filming the Sex & The City 2 sequel for the past few months. Good for them! Although, if I am honest with ya'll I would secretly really like to see a new batch of photos of these budding fashionista's.

The family was back in the press late yesterday with news out of Ohio of a conviction in the theft case surrounding the surrogate mother of the girls. Police Chief (yes, Police Chief) Barry Carpenter was found guilty of three of the six charges he was accused of - receiving stolen property, tampering with evidence and theft in office.

Apparently Police Chief Barry Carpenter, along with Police Chief Chad Dojack - who goes on trial in January - met with "freelance photographers" offering ultrasound pictures, photos, legal documents about the surrogacy agreement and other items. By "freelance photographers" I am assuming they mean paparazzi..... How heinous is that? Carpenter claims that the conversations with the photographers were a joke, and that he only entered the house of Ross when he noticed a door ajar. BULLS*IT.

Holy mother f*ckers. Is anyone else totally and completely creeped out by this whole situation. I know that not all police are exactly ethical - or moral for that matter (a vast majority are I am sure), this is just beyond horrible. To break into a pregnant woman's house and steal ultrasound images that you are planning on selling to the highest bidder? This just makes me cringe. It would be horrible if a regular dirtbag did it, but for someone whose job it is to uphold and enforce the law? Asshole. Special place in hell for people like this.

There are no words for what I hope happens to this guy in prison. But let me just say that I hope his cellmate wanted to "Save Ferris" at some point in his life.

XO

Like, it's like totally awesome, like you know? Like.

When I first moved to Canada my first job was at one of the major Tourist attractions as what basically amounts to a tour guide. It was a very popular attraction and there were a couple of regulars who I saw 2-3 times a week. I have fond memories of one woman in particular who used to bring her two little girls on what seemed like a daily basis for a number of years, so I got to know them pretty well.

These girls were adorable. Hailey and… f*ck I can’t remember her name. Their mom’s name was Amy. Anyways, for a while we had this game we would play. A little back-story for you: I pride myself on my command of the English language. I write, I read, I know and am comfortable using “fifty-cent” words. But there was one word that I would overuse. Like, incessantly. Like, ridiculously a lot. The game was very simple. Every time I said the word "like" they would say the word "ding". They said “ding” a lot. The girls found this game hi-larious and I quickly realised that I need to find another filler word.

Can you think of anyone who would benefit from this game? I know! I know! Let’s see if you can figure out who it is. Here are a few clues. This almost 17-year-old superstar loves pole dancing in short shorts at awards shows. Although she claims to love God she takes mildly suggestive photos of herself and posts them on Twitter for the world to see.

Do you know who it is yet? No? Let me give you a few more clues. She seems to think the smacking gum incessantly during interviews is perfectly acceptable and doesn’t listen to Jay Z because that is “pop” music - which she doesn’t listen to. Her words not mine. She also deleted said twitter account because a boy suggested it - and wrote a rap about it (sorry, I guess this would be pop, not rap right?). Finally this girl has obvious daddy issues and hates the Twilight phenomenon …. for no discernable reason. A catty person might say that her Twilight rant reeks of jealousy…

I know you know who it is? How could you not? Homegirl Miley Cyrus needs to find someone to play the “ding” game with her. Pronto. If your ears can handle the twang and the gum smacking, listen to this radio station interview where she disses the Twilight franchise and uses the word like more than should be allowed. I gave up counting after about 30.

Whoever is tasked with assisting Miley in expanding her vocabulary should also consider helping her to not sound like an ungrateful brat. Cause that is like exactly how she comes across in like every interview I have like heard recently. Couldn’t have something to do with all the positive press surrounding her BFF Taylor Swift could it? Sour grapes Miley? Tsk tsk. That is not very Christian of you!

XO

"F Love"

I have made my opinions on the Chris Brown - Rihanna situation very very clear. See here, here, here, here, here and even here for my thoughts on this situation. I didn’t have this wee blog back in February when this all went down (which I just realised was on my birthday!), I can only imagine what I would have said about it……

Last night on ABC's 20/20 Rihanna spoke publicly for the first time about the horrific beating she took at the hands of her then boyfriend –Chris Brown - why she went back to him after he had slammed her head against a windshield, choked, bit and punched her on February 7th 2009, and why she finally came to the realisation that she could not stay with him even though she still loved him.

“Rihanna on Friday described the horror she felt as her ex-boyfriend Chris Brown was biting and punching her during a violent argument in February, saying she saw "no soul in his eyes."
"There was no person when I looked at him," the 21-year-old singer recalled during the second installment of an interview airing on ABC's "Good Morning America." "He had no soul in his eyes. Just blank."
Brown was arrested Feb. 8, hours after he was accused of beating Rihanna after the two argued over another woman. He later pleaded guilty to felony assault.
In the interview, Rihanna, who is no longer with Brown, described him as "definitely my first big love." She said their relationship was intense.
"The more in love we became, the more dangerous we became for each other — equally as dangerous," she said. "It was a bit of an obsession almost."
The attack occurred in Los Angeles' Hancock Park neighborhood as Brown drove a rented sports car. She said it was triggered when she saw a text message on his phone from another woman and confronted him about it. She said he lied about it and "I wouldn't drop it."
A search warrant affidavit filed in the case stated that Brown hit, choked and bit Rihanna and tried at one point to push her from the car.
"It was ugly," she said.
During the beating, the singer said she had no idea how it would end: "That's all I kept thinking the whole time, 'When is it going to stop? When is it going to stop?'"
Brown was sentenced to five years' probation, six months of community labor and a year of domestic violence counseling after he pleaded guilty to felony assault.
In portions of the interview aired Thursday, Rihanna warned other women facing domestic violence to not let themselves become blinded by love. She also said she regretted going back to Brown, saying it sent the wrong message to her fans.
Brown, 20, has apologized to fans and has said he has repeatedly apologized to Rihanna for the attack. Brown will recount his perspective in an interview to air Friday on MTV.
Despite the beating, Rihanna said she still cares about Brown.
"I don't hate him at all," she said. "I actually love and care about him and I'm concerned about him doing well. I want him to do well — have a great career, have a great life, and grow up. Just take this as something that you had to go through to grow up and learn."
Rihanna's interview coincides with the debut of her new single, "Russian Roulette," from her upcoming album, "Rated R."

Source

For me, it was an extremely powerful and emotional interview to watch. Rihanna appeared uncomfortable discussing certain aspects of what happened, and refused to allow the interview to descend into a “Chris Brown did me wrong” sob-fest. She spoke articulately and carefully, in very even tones - there was no breakdown, she did not weep in Diane Sawyer's waiting arms. And I am sure that Diane was a little bit pissed about that. Such a coup to get this interview and not one sob, not even a voice quiver.

People have been questioning the timing and the motivation. There have also been many comments about both her hair and her outfit. For fu*k’s sake… #rihannasforhead has been a trending topic on Twitter for almost 24 hours. Srsly.

Yes she has an album coming out. But can you please explain to me when is the right time for her to discuss this? When do all of you out there on the interweb feel it is appropriate for her to talk publicly about what was likely the most traumatic experience of her life? Rihanna’s motivation is irrelevant. Do people honestly think she wants to talk about this? That this is fun for her? That she is using the hell of the past year to promote an album? When would have been the right time? 6 months? 2 months? 2 weeks? When do all the judgy people feel she should be discussing being beaten senseless by the man she loved?

She not only went through abuse in the public eye. She went through the aftermath in public. Most abuse victims do not have millions of people scrutinising everything they do, dissecting the most traumatic experiences of their lives, judging them for not talking about it, judging them for smiling, judging them for seeing him, following them wherever they go, looking at leaked police photos.

I commend her for speaking about it. She didn’t have to. She could have promoted the f*ck out of this album by skirting around the questions and refusing to discuss it. Many others would have.

She is using the media because she went through this in the public eye. We all “know” what happened. Most of us saw that photo. We have all been speculating what exactly happened that night. Chris said nothing on his “interview” on Larry King. 99% of people in abusive relationships or those who suffer any form of abuse are not going through it with millions of people watching. People are going to talk about it regardless of if she does press or not. She is taking control of this situation and doing what she can to shut down the speculation.

For Rihanna to speak publicly about this and use what happened to her as a forum for others to learn from her experience is very commendable. There is no right time for her to discuss this. If she had come out right after so many would have been on her back about it. If she refused to talk about it now, there would have been an outcry.

The poor girl cannot win. I really wish people would listen to what she is saying instead of judging her for her timing, her hair or her outfit. All of that crap diminishes the importance of what she is saying. She is saying something that is really hard to hear and I think many people don’t understand about abusive relationships. That you love that person, even though they hit you. That you love them and go back even though they destroy you. That in spite of what they do (be it once or over years), you love them. This is a powerful message for young girls. That even though you love them, you can leave them. That even though you love them, you should leave them. That is is not always about love. As she said….. f*ck love.

I am not a particular fan of Ri-ri. Her music is fun and okay I guess. I would never spend my cash on her album. But now, I have an urge to buy anything she has released.

I am also not going to read comments on any more blogs cause they just make me angrier and angrier. People are so unbelievably ignorant and narrow-minded and stupid. I am getting riled up just thinking about it. Boo f*cking hiss to you all who are judging Rihanna for any of this.

XO

Miley's done with Twitter Ya'll

How will the tween tweeters and celebrity bloggers of the world cope? Miley Cyrus has deleted her twitter account.

It all started on Thursday with this cryptic tweet coming from the 17 year old superstar: "FYI Liam doesn't have a Twitter and he wants ME to delete mine with good reason." Liam is Miley's costar in her latest film project and her rumoured boyfriend. Miley's account then disappeared and the outcry began. Fans were shocked, outraged and disappointed - #mileycomeback became the number one trending topic on Twitter.

Miley's father - Billy Ray - then got in on the action and tweeted his own impassioned plea to his meal-ticket/daughter to return to the twitterverse. "Miley. You are a light in a world of darkness. You were born "Destiny Hope Cyrus" for a reason. You can't leave everyone now.We r countin on u". Seriously? This is one of the most ridiculous things I have ever read. Were Miley's tweets solving world hunger? Discovering a cure for cancer? Ending the war in Afghanistan? Ridding the world of inequality?

Oh and Billy-Ray.... In your creepy soul patch stroking state I guess you forgot that that Miley deleted her f*cking account. Which means she is not going to read the f*cking drivel you are spouting in an effort to get her back on board. And I also guess you forgot that she is more than just your meal ticket. That she is your daughter.... pretty sure that you have her cell phone number. Use it. Douche.

Miley has since released a fantastic rap video explaining to her fans why she deleted her account. Yes, a rap video.

Some are saying this is all a big publicity stunt. Perhaps Miley (and her publicist) is bummed that Taylor Swift has been getting all the press over the last month or so with the whole Kanye is a douche situation. So has Miley very publicly deleted her account and will we see her in a few weeks make an even more public return to Twitterverse? Possibly. For now, I am just happy that the world of Twitter will not be subjected to her misspelled rambling or photos of her sexing on her random guys who are old enough to be her father.

XO

Sweeps = California Lesbians & Upper East Side Threeways

Looky here. What is this? Ms Claire Bennett - the girl with miraculous powers of regeneration - appears to be going through her totally cliched "experimental phase" in college. Everyone's fave cheerleader from the former-hit show Heroes - is going to lock lips with a girl in next week's episode. And the powers that be at NBC have been flashing this photo around to whoever will post it on the interwebs. All in the hopes of luring some viewers back. I am sorry - even a fleeting lesbian storyline isn't gonna bring me back.

I am more interested with who Claire (aka Haydn Panetierre) is making out with ......Do you recognise her? That is none other than Madeleine Zima - originally from the The Nanny - but more recently as the underage girl who punched David Duchovny in the face while f*cking him (in Californication.... probably not in real life).

Can you say cheap stunt? You ain't seen nothing yet friends. The CW has just blown that little faux-lesbian stunt out of the water...

On the Upper East Side, Gossip Girl has some shocking! Scandalous! Titillating! news to share. According to EW.com, the November 9th episode will feature a little menage a trois action. No definitive word on who the lucky threesome will be..... but apparently it is 3 "major" characters.

There are a list potential threesomes on the EW.com site.....

Chuck/Blair/Nate

Chuck/Blair/Josh

Chuck/Blair/Dorota

Nate/Bree/Carter

Serena/Carter/Georgina

Serena/Dan/Blair

Vanessa/Dan/Olivia

Georgina/Dan/Olivia

Rufus/Lily/Serena's daddy

Okay..... so Olivia (Hilary Duff) is not gonna happen. And I really can't see bland Dan getting wild in any way shape or form. And Serena & Georgina = mortal enemies (which would make it super hot, but Michelle Trachtenberg is on another show so would she just f*ck and run?)

My money is on Chuck Bass. Probably Chuck-Blair-Josh. Chase Crawford (Nate) is be too scared his raging hard on for ex-roommate Ed Westwick would be seen by everyone to allow the writers to put him in a bed with Chuck and Blair. I actually wish it was a Little J/Chuck/Blair situation.... but considering there was that whole mauling of innocent, vulnerable Jenny Humphrey by the big bad Chuck Bass in the pilot.... I don't think that is gonna happen.

Oh did I mentions sweeps is coming up? Ugh. Cheap tricks and lame stunts do not make a show good.

XO

Lilo a Designer Ya'll

Lilo pretty much invited anyone on Twitter to see her first show as the creative director for Emanuel Ungaro's RTW Spring 2010 line. I really have no idea what a "creative director" for a design house does. But in this case, a Creative Director apparently sends poorly constructed, tacky and cliched crap down the runway. I am not a fashion expert, I just know what I like and what I do not like...... in this case there are a few pieces that are all right. Sadly for the most part I have to concur with the early reviews which have labelled the collection "an embarrassment", as well as "cheesy and dated".

Apparently there was boob popping out more than once, at least one of the dresses was so short that if you went commando you would be flashing the entire world your biz-ness, and the heart shaped theme (on pasties covering nipples, head pieces and material) looked like a concept a five year old from the 1980's came up with. The colours are garish and not used effectively.

Of the collaboration with designer Estrella Archs, Lilo said “We both kind of mixed our (ideas) together, and that’s why it came out so well. I really appreciate everything that goes into, like, any article of clothing. I think it’s fantastic and I think it’s so expressive in so many ways.” Already after the show Archs seems to be covering her ass stating the the collection was designed "very quickly"

This completely reminds me of the episode of Project Runway that just aired in Canada where one of the guest judges (Celebrity stylist Jen Rade) said of the model who liked a boring design, that it was a good thing the model wasn't a designer. She didn't say it anywhere near as nice as I wrote it, it was actually kinda mean. Just because someone likes clothes, and/or can wear designer clothes doesn't mean that said person should be a designer. Do you think Lilo woke up from a drug-induced stupor and thought, I wanna be a designer? Probably..... so sad.

Oh and as to which of Lilo's many celebrity friends showed up to support her and applaud her success..... her 16 year old sister Ali was there - instead of in school - and that's about it. I think the rest of her friends were too scared to go..... terrified that her weird, cranked out lips would engulf them.

XO

Mike Seaver: Don't Waste Another Minute on your Crazy.

Warning: This has a little bit of a religious discussion in it ... well, my opinion on religion. If you are a religious (not that there is anything wrong with that), I would skip this post.

Did you watch Growing Pains? I did. Did you love Kirk Cameron as Mike Seaver? I totally did. I would spend $7.00 on Tigerbeat just to have the little poster in it. Did you find it kind of sweet that after he married his wife Chelsea, he refused to take off his wedding ring for filming? I did. Did you wonder where he had been since Growing Pains went off the air? I kinda did.

I had heard that he had found God. Good for him. What I didn't know was that had created a ministry with Christian minister and Evangelist Ray Comfort. Comfort is the guy who used the ridges of a banana as proof of the existence of God. Their ministry - The Way of the Master - teaches Christians how to promote their faith..."simply, effectively, biblically....the way Jesus did."

Kirk Cameron is again back in the news, this time for a little something he has planned for the 150th Anniversary of the publication of Charles Darwin's groundbreaking book on Evolution - Origin of the Species. According to an online video (below), three days before this anniversary, Cameron and his followers will be distributing free copies of the book at 50 of the top universities in the United States. Sounds good right? There is just a teeny tiny little catch. This fancy new edition includes a brand spanking new 50 page introduction written by Ray Comfort. The new introduction can be read here.

This new introduction (which I must admit I have not read all of, as it made me want to throw my laptop out the window) includes, amongst other things, an explanation of Hitler's "undeniable connection" to the theory of evolution. It also exposes the multitude of "hoaxes" surrounding evolutionary theory as well as Darwin's apparent "disdain for women" and racism. Oh and it also presents a "balanced view of Creationism."

According to a report in PEOPLE, Cameron believes that "Atheism has been on the rise for years now, and the Bible of the atheists is The Origin of Species...." He goes on to say that "We have a situation in our country where young people are entering college with a belief in God and exiting with that faith being stripped and shredded. What we want to do is have student make an informed, educated decision before they chuck their faith."

And apparently to do that, they feel the need to present a completely one-sided, warped view of Darwin and the theory of creationism. Many others have expressed their opinions on Kirk's video far more eloquently that I ever could (my person fave is below - this chick is awesome). I am not going to get into a discussion of Evolution versus Creationism. Or my opinions on religion. Suffice it to say, my Catholic upbringing and Catholic education went a little off track when I was told that it was in God's plan that my father died when I was 14 years old.

What I find interesting beyond the introduction and the obvious inaccuracies and half-truths presented in Cameron's 6 minute calm rant, is the fact that they were allowed to reissue a book with an introduction that completely refutes everything in said book. I don't understand this and how this is done.

I also find it very amusing that Cameron honestly thinks Christian teens are so weak minded and have such a shaky faith that they would be so easily led astray by their agnostic and atheist professors. Could it not be that said teens grew up having been taught only one belief system - then they enter college and are exposed to masses of new ideas and notions presented not only by their professors, but also by new roommates, new friends, TA's and all the other groups at college. Is that not a much more plausible explanation for college students losing their faith in Christianity?

Cameron's idea is something completely new for the religious zealots. Normally, the holy rollers have book burnings. Now, they are having, what, book givings? I am sure some of them will forget, and will show up on November 19th with marshmallows, ready to make s'mores. Hmmm S'mores.

XO