Keifer Sutherland Assault case dropped

Remember back in May when Keifer Sutherland allegedly head-butted a designer who accidentally bumped into Brooke Shields at a swanky black tie event in NYC. Was that not the most awesome story ever? Keifer is hanging out at a Met Gala after party, likely in a tux, and a guy bumps into his friend Brooke (who knew they were even friends?). The logical response is to head butt them right? That is what rational even-tempered people do? Ha. Only in Hollyweird. Or in 1990 when my boyfriend would get drunk and rowdy any chance he got. Loser (boyfriend, not Keifer - love Keifer).

And then the totally f*cked up aftermath of the Sutherland-Shields-Designer debacle. He said, he said and then she said bullsh*t on all sides. Brooke is apparently friends with both men. While I personally couldn't wait for the trial and the witness list, word is that prosecutors have declined to prosecute the case. Damn it!

The complaining witness was apparently "quite uncooperative" - because the two men decided to behave like civilised individuals and talk it out, not something that sounds like talk, but means punch it out. Boring.

XO

WTF? "You're my Best Judge Forever"

Oh Paris, Paris, Paris. You are just so f*cking clueless. On the one hand you ask all of us to take you seriously as a business person, insisting that you are more than just the vapid whore that we have all come to know and mock. Then on the other hand, you claim that you weren't aware that you were supposed to promote a film that you the star of. Come on. I am not in movies and I know that promotion is part of it. And then to try and pass it off on your "handlers" who schedule your time.

You ask us to take you seriously and then you wave at the judge on your way to the witness box, and tell him "You're my best judge forever". I say again, why is this woman famous? What is her contribution to humanity?

Ugh to you Paris. Again, I wish they could just throw the twit in jail.

XO

Lilo Is Being Sued

Remember last week when Lindsay Lohan started her birthday week celebration in Vegas by launching her self tanning line Sevin Nyne? Well, the self professed hardest working woman in Hollyweird is being sued by a Florida chemist who claims that Lilo and her partner Lorit Simon stole the formula from her.

Okay I don't get it. Did Lilo actually invent a whole new formula for sunless tanning? Didn't she just add a fun new scent, slap her name on it and pose hard on her birthday? What secret ingredients are there in this sunless tanning lotion? Does it promise to resurrect your career?

And the charges that are being levelled against Lilo. Wowsers! It makes it sound like she stole the cure for cancer or something: breach of contract, civil conspiracy, theft of trade secrets, deceptive & unfair trade practices and intentional interference with contractual relations. Damn.

There has been no response from anyone in Lilo's camp yet. Lindsay is far too busy working harder than anyone you know to respond to this. As these photos clearly indicate.

XO