Sunday, August 30, 2009

Where in the World is Jake Ryan?

I have had a $50 Gift Certificate for HMV burning a hole in my wallet for the past few weeks. I've been completely indecisive and been unable to choose what to purchase. Do I go with Season 1 of Mad Men? Or Veronica Mars? Or Skins Volume 1 (which is $52! - yikes)? Or do I try and add to my movie collection..... I have a ton of movies on my must own list that I have yet to purchase. Argh....... Decisions. Decisions. I should probably mention that I have tons of DVD's. I am more likely to buy than rent a DVD. I am okay with this. My bank balance and visa bill are not so much.
As always I wandered around the store for about 30 minutes, looking at the DVD's and hoping that I would be inspired. Nothing was grabbing me. I was about to walk out the door emptyhanded and there it was:
OMFG! How totally perfect. I am kinda embarrassed to admit that I do not own any of these movies. In spite of my respect and love for the man and his movies, my John Hughes collection is kinda lame. Not any more! And it comes with it's own cute little lunchbox. Love it. love it love it.
With the rest of the $$$ on the Card, I went down a completely different route with Terry Gilliam's 12 Monkeys and the classic Reservoir Dogs. 12 Monkey is probably my favourite Brad Pitt movie - simply as it proves to me that he is more than just a pretty face. He is awesome in it. And I am a total sucker for Bruce Willis - he was my heartthrob action star growing up - never into Steven Seagal or Sylvester Stallone. Bruce Willis made me swoon.
Watched 16 Candles last night. Remembered the total dreaminess that was Jake Ryan. As always, ignored the obvious douchiness of some of his actions - ummm he pretty much pimped out his girlfriend to the geek and gave him carte blanche to do whatever he wanted to his passed out prom queen girlfriend. Everything is forgiven when he shows up at the end, looking all perfectly dreamy and shy, with his hands in the pockets of his 501's. Sigh. And the final scene of the movie, with the two of them perched on the table in his mansion, with a cake that I like to think he baked himself. Swoon.
The intelligent part of me knows that he is not real. But the teenage girl in me likes to think that this could have happened. The most popular boy in school is totally gonna dump his hot blonde girlfriend with the banging body, for the awkward, oddball sophomore who has red hair and freckles - gasp! Ummmm, yes, in the fantasy world in my head, this could happen.                            And where is Jake Ryan now? The perfect high school boy was played perfectly by Michael Schoeffling who was last seen happily married with 2 kids, living in rural Pennsylvania, running a hand-crafted furniture store. Yes, he is a carpenter, he works with his hands. He is almost 50 now. He left Hollyweird in the early 90's after forgettable roles in a number of equally forgettable films (except Mermaids - loved him in Mermaids). He is a notoriously hard man to track down, with GQ calling him the "Salinger of male model/actors" after they were unable to track him down in 2002.
Jake Ryan was the perfect high school boyfriend. He sat atop the pedestal we teenage girls placed him on and ruined high school dating for us all. We compared all our boyfriends to Jake Ryan, and although I can't speak for all girls, I can speak for myself - they all failed in comparison. I wonder if I could sue the estate of John Hughes, Michael Schoeffling and/or the production company for false advertising?

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