Friday, July 31, 2009

Little Orphan Esther

Thursday night Kent & headed to one of the only places where you were able escape the insane heat/humidity here in Vancity - the fantastic A/C that is the movie theatre! Yay to Tinseltown.

Originally I had no interest what so ever in seeing The Orphan. It received very mixed reviews from the critics, but with so many other films out at the moment that I wanna see, I had decided to skip yet another movie about an evil child. Then I heard the "twist". And that changed everything. Then I also heard it was very loosely based on a true story. And I realised that this had the potential to be the best horror flick ever! I have no idea how, but Kentaroo somehow managed to stay spoiler free.

The is one f*cked up movie and I loved it. It was one of the most disturbing movies I have seen in a while, and the loony twist totally lived up to my expectations. Long for a horror film - it clocked in at just over 2 hours - this movie alternates between typical schlock horror to the psychological terror inflicted on the unsuspecting Coleman family by their newly adopted daughter.

The Orphan stars Vera Farmiga & Peter Sarsgaard as a couple (ironically named John & Kate - ha ha ha) who adopt a 9 year old girl after the loss of their unborn child. Esther (played by the incredibly creepy Isabelle Fuhrman) is not as she seems and hilarity, hijinks's and bloody good times ensue. It was awesome.

I won't harp on the obvious plot issues in this movie - such as a couple bringing a child into their family without even introducing her to their existing children, that in spite of the fantastic relationship between mother and children, they were unable to confide in her about their new sister's crazy, or the fact that the adoption went through in less than a month. That is not what this movie is about. This movie is about a crazy little thing called Esther. Esther has a secret. And it is the mother f*cking secret of secrets. A secret worth killing over...... dum dum dum.

Vera Farmiga is gorgeous and such a natural actress. I love her. I can totally see why she was hand-picked by Scorsese for The Departed. Peter Sarsgaard did well with the material he was given. His character - the troubled John - was weak and not especially likable, especially when he breaks down in front of his newly adopted 9 year old daughter. WTF was that? OMG, I loved the little girl playing Max - Aryanna Engineer. This little Vancity girl is the most adorable munchkin ever! So cute.

The movie is relatively light on the gore, focusing more on the perverse torment that Esther inflicts on the family. She is one master manipulator! Going into the movie, knowing what her secret is, makes some of the scenes a tad difficult and disturbing to watch. But the last 30 minutes is cray-zee good. I actually jumped in my seat a few times (which for me is a sign of a good scary flick).

The Orphan is not an intellectual, high-brow movie. But it is totally entertaining and funny and scary and just a whole lot of awesome.


Sarah Michelle Gellar - Pregnant & Fabulous

The one and only Buffy The Vampire Slayer was spotted out and about yesterday in LA on the weekend. Her adorable puppy Tyson's weekly trip to the vet in Toluca Lake was again captured on film by the ever present paparazzi. She was also spotted lunching in Malibu with good friend Lindsay Sloane.

SMG looks fantastic. She is seriously one of the best dressed preggo women I have seen in a while! I can't wait until she pops her little one out! Yay to another Buffy baby!

Thursday, July 30, 2009

Katherine Heigl - Please Shut the F*ck Up!!

Oh Katherine Heigl. I remember when Grey's Anatomy started. I liked you. I liked the fact that you were not a size zero. I liked how you stood up for TR Knight during the whole Isaiah Washington situation (although you kept talking about it long after everyone else, including TR had moved on). I even liked your Vanity Fair interview.

Then you won an Emmy. And corrected the person who mispronounced your name. And came across as kind of snotty. Sigh.

Then the following year, in spite of the the fact that it was universally acknowledged that Grey's sucked ass that year, you released a f*cking statement to say that you were not submitting a reel for Emmy consideration that year:

“I am truly grateful for the honor that the Academy bestowed upon me last year. I did not feel that I was given the material this season to warrant an Emmy nomination and in an effort to maintain the integrity of the Academy organization, I withdrew my name from contention. In addition, I did not want to potentially take away an opportunity from an actress who was given such materials.”

Who the f*ck does that? In all my years of following Hollyweird, I have never heard anything along these lines. She also failed to mention that she had apparently asked to have a lighter storyline that season due to her flourishing movie career. And this year, when she had some really good material (cancer, seeing your dead boyfriend, confronting your own immortality etc), she did not even garner a nomination. To that I say..... Ha! Karma is a bitch, princess.

Heigl has a movie out at the moment. The Ugly Truth. I will not be seeing it. It looks completely lame and formulaic. And don't even try and give me that "there are vibrating panties in it" crap. I don't care that it is at a restaurant. Or that a small child has the remote control. And I really don't give a sh*t that she she fakes an orgasm in front of her nemesis/future soul mates parents/boss. That's is not hi-larious! Ugh. Meg Ryan has been there and done that and no-one will ever top it.

Anyways, Heigl went on Letterman last week to promote this theatrical masterpiece. When asked about her return to the set of Grey's Anatomy the words out of her mouth were: “It was – I’m going to keep saying this because I hope it embarrasses them – a 17-hour day, which I think is cruel and mean.” Sigh. No mention of the fact that the long work day was apparently to accommodate her very appearance on Letterman as well as other promotion for the movie.

She is coming across as the most ungrateful twit on TV at the moment. Regardless of what she may say, she is where she is because of Grey's Anatomy. And Katherine has repeatedly dissed the creator, producers, writers, show runners and pretty much anyone associated with the show. Who does she think she is? She is a mediocre TV actress who has had limited success in a few Romantic Comedies. She has yet to earn the right to be a Diva. Ugh. It is so disappointing. I used to find her refreshingly candid. Now I want to crawl into the TV and beat her with her Emmy. Below are some images of her had at work on the set.

Oh and of course she tried to claim that she was joking. Watch the clip. Tell me she's joking. She has been christened Princess Ass-Talk by another blogger. Nothing seems more fitting at the moment. You only need to listen to the first 2 minutes. God, can't they kill her off the show? She is clearly one of the most ungrateful and downright rude women to grace our TV screens right now. She doesn't seem to even want to be there? I am getting mad, so I am just gonna stop now.

Shut the F*ck up Katherine Heigl. How much do you get paid an episode? You make more money in one year than most people make in a lifetime. And they are millions of people in the world who work 17 hour days for a lot less than the $100,000 + per episode you make. If you don't like it, f*cking leave. Get a job at McDonalds, or Starbucks. See what the rest of us have to deal with on a daily basis. Ugh.


Wednesday, July 29, 2009

Eclipse Shake-Up: Rachelle - Out! Bryce - In!

In a stunning move, Summit announced late yesterday that due to "scheduling conflicts" the pivotal role of Victoria had been recast in the third installment of the highly successful Twilight series. Canadian Rachelle Lefevre originated the role of the villainous Victoria and will reprise her role in New Moon which will be released in November. Fan have embraced her portrayal and Rachelle has been very vocal in her commitment and passion to the role. However, due to a conflict with her role in "Barney's Version" she has been replaced by Bryce Dallas Howard (Terminator Salvation, Spiderman 4, The Village). And all hell broke loose.

Summits statement did not ring true to anyone - fans or professional bloggers alike. And I suspect that Rachelle herself was blindsided by the move. She was down in San Diego with the rest of the cast just last week - smiling and happy and looking forward to returning to Vancity in August to resume filming. Theories abounded as to why they would really recast the popular redhead - ranging from Summit trying to curry favour with Howard's father (yes, she is Ron Howard's daughter) to a salary dump (apparently Rachelle - along with the rest of the cast - got a substantial salary increase upon the completion of Twilight).

Rachelle released her own statement to Access Hollywood this afternoon which basically called bulls*it on Summit's version of the events. She stated that she was "stunned" and "hurt deeply" by Summit's "surprising" decision to recast her. She went on to say that "never did I fathom I would lose the role over a 10 day overlap." Apparently the conflict with Barney's Version was 10 days, and Rachelle argues that with a three month production schedule on Eclipse she had thought that the production would work to accommodate her other project.

Fans of Rachelle went crazy when this was released. Petitions have been organised - cause Twi-hard love their petitions. Rachelle/Victoria became a trending topic on Twitter. Many brought up the fact that both Elizabeth Reaser and Cam Gigandet were able to work around other shooting commitments during Twilight. Off with Summit's heads became a rallying cry for Twi-hards everywhere. And David Slade was most definitely put on notice. The director of Eclipse was informed in no uncertain terms that if he had anything to do with this decision - he was screwed.

As expected, Summit retaliated, releasing their own statement which took a much less friendly tone with "Ms Lefevre" (in the first statement she was fondly referred to as Rachelle). In this statement, Summit asserts that Rachelle had waited well over a month to inform them of her role in Barney's Version, which they view as a "lack of cooperative spirit which affected the entire production". Not only that, they claim that Rachelle's representatives were informed in April that she would be required in August for Eclipse and that they were not consulted in her decision to accept a role in Barney's Version. Further, they assert that the time that Rachelle would not be available was during the "required" rehearsal period as well as "at least" ten days of principal photography. They go on to claim that certain locations were only available during the initial part of the production schedule.

So this has basically boiled down to a case of Summit said, Rachelle said. While I am sad that Rachelle will not continue on as Victoria, if what Summit says is true, her people deserve a swift kick in the arse for being so cagey about the role. I am not in the "biz", but when you are signed on for a role and another role comes up that conflicts with the original role, wouldn't it make sense to try and work something out? If not with Summit, then what about the other production company? I am sure that the rest of the cast has had to turn down roles due to their commitment to the Twilight Saga.

This story is most definitely not over. The Twi-hards are gonna do their damndest to reverse this decision. Good luck to them, but it ain't gonna happen! The relationship between the studio and Rachelle seems pretty acrimonious and I think that she is done as Victoria. I think it is sad, but I like Bryce Dallas Howard and am confident that she can do a good job in the role. People just need to get over who her father is and let her do her job. I seem to recall a similar outcry when Nikki Reed was cast as Rosalie. Many Twi-hard were infuriated and felt that she was only cast due to her relationship with Catherine Hardwicke. Dakota Fanning was the same. People lost their sh*t claiming that Summit only hired her to get a "big name" in the role. Now everyone loves her! We will see how this plays out.


What's their Age Again?

Last night my good friend Kent and I had planned to go and see The Orphan. To be honest, I had no interest in seeing this flick. Then I heard about the twist. Srsly? Holy Mother of all that is Sacred. This is the twist to end all twists. And Kent had managed to stay spoiler free, which would have made it all the more awesome. But as seems to be the story of my life at the moment, Kent emailed me and asked me if I wanted to go see Blink 182 instead. VIP seats, with backstage access. Screw The Orphan.

Now the show was most definitely not a masterpiece of staging and I don't recall hearing any new songs. And did you ever notice how their catalogue of songs all kinda sound the same? Like Nickelsack, but way less sucky. Depending on your level of cynicism you can see this entire tour as either a blatant and obvious cash grab or 3 old friends getting back together after one of them had a much publicised near death experience (drummer Travis Barker's plane crash last year). I am a cynical bitch, but I am going with option B. Friends reuniting. And regardless, I say f*ck it. It was sooo fun.

It must be noted that the boys of Blink 182 are no longer boys. They are all over 30, married (except for Barker - I think), with children. One would have thought their penis jokes and talk of f*cking your mom or licking your butthole would have stopped after their 30th birthday's. Sadly that was not the case. Led by Tom DeLonge, the dick and fart jokes were loud and proud during the show. And the crowd loved it.

They played every song you wanted them to, chatted with the crowd ( alternating between telling us how awesome we were and how much we f*cking sucked) and Mark Hoppus even proved how much he loved Canada by singing a few bars of "Oh Canada". It was an extremely entertaining, high energy show capped off with Travis Barker being strapped to a platform and wailing on the drums while it was raised high above the stage, spinning around. Wicked cool - apparently a total rip off of Tommy Lee?

Again I am going to harp on the drumming. I don't really get why I am currently obsessed with drummers? But Travis Barker is f*cking awesome. He seems super shy and chill. He had no interest in speaking with the crowd - we got a quiet "hi" out of him after much prodding and cajoling by Hoppus and De Longe. He was there to do his job, and that is what he did. And can I say that he is a sexy little beast? Sigh.

Overall it was a super fun show. We had awesome seats (but my camera sux balls at concerts), and got to wander around backstage after the show. There was a little mix-up regarding our back stage access and it was basically nothing. Thankfully as the tix were freebies, I didn't mind at all. Blink 182 will make a sh*t load on this tour. All those kids that bought their records can now afford their stadium prices and all the little punk posers lap this kind of crap up. I am not sure how long the truce will hold for the band though. I can see them imploding again pretty quickly. Thankfully they all have their own tour buses.
Going to The Orphan tomorrow nite instead. Yay!

Mother of the Year ~ Candy Spelling

Candy Spelling, wife of the late Aaron Spelling, is well known in Hollyweird for two things. The first is having entire rooms in her house devoted to wrapping presents and dolls. The second and the reason for this post, is feuding with her daughter - Beverley Hill's 90210's Donna Martin - AKA Tori Spelling. Candy and Tori have never really gotten along. Tori was daddy's little girl, and this seems to have irked Candy. And remember when Candy basically accused Tori of being the cause of Aaron's death. I wish she was my mom! That wouldn't scar a child for life at all!

This latest open letter to her daughter (she penned another one back in April), that Candy released to TMZ (of course she did) has taken the concept of Mommy Dearest to a whole new level. Joan Crawford needs to crawl out of the grave and had over the crown to model of mothering perfection - Candy Spelling. The letter in it's entirety is below.


I Know many middle-aged people have issues about their parents and their upbringing. I did. My memories didn't match all those of my mother, and, funny thing, it's the same way with my daughter.

Life has consequences. What you say is on the record. Other people have feelings.

I have a vested interest in this subject. My daughter, Tori's, two-part season finale revolves around my granddaughter's first birthday party and how she has made what seems like an agonizing decision to invite me.

Cue music. Cue sideways glances. Cue Lights.

I did get an invitation just in time for the RSVP deadline. I'm sure its delivery will be on next week's episode with some comment about my house or driveway or street or something they won't like. I wonder if that will be spread out over one part or two. Sigh.

A big party wasn't how I envisioned meeting my granddaughter for the first time; but, hey, this is Hollywood, and my grandchildren have become reality show props, too. At the time I emailed "yes," I didn't realize I was being set up for a two-parter, even though it was clear I was being invited to be part of a segment for my daughter's reality show.

Spoiler alert. Don't read this if you plan to sit through an hour of people looking at their watches and saying "she's late." I decided my first meeting with my granddaughter should be on home video, not primetime cable; so I emailed that I would not be attending.

Back to other reality stars. My husband taught me that the plots have to be fresh and updated. The same old whining gets tired after a while. Enough complaining about what may or may not have happened during first grade or YMCA camp, or what vegetable you were forced to endure, especially when you are privileged enough to be on TV and get paid for it.

For all the reality show personalities, please remember that real life doesn't get edited to make things better or worse or get better ratings. You're responsible for what you do. Life isn't just a show. And your families can't just be props. Make your own season finale without creating conflicts you will regret later.

Okay, after reading this, who else totally wants to call their momma & tell her that she is the most awesome mom eva! Cause, damn Candy, you are cold.

Most importantly: Middle aged? WTF? Tori is the same age as I am. F*ck you Candy. I am not middle-aged.

Now, let me be clear that I think it is totally insane and selfish for Tori to use her feud with her mother to boost ratings for her show. Don't try and tell me that is not the exact reason this little reunion was staged for her season finale. But for Candy Spelling to openly mock her daughter in such a public forum is unforgivable. I don't get it. I thought mothers were supposed to be more mature than their daughters? Candy Spelling has clearly never heard of taking the high road. Maybe she spent to much time in the doll room at her obscene McMansion and forgot how real people act.

The tone of the letter is so cutting and down right mean that if I was Tori, I would be done with her. Srsly. Do you really want that kind of vitriolic bile around your children? As sad as it is, some family rifts can't be mended. No matter how much both parties may claim they want to work it out, it is clear to me that in this situation that Candy Spelling is beyond help. Tori should just cut her losses and be done with it.

Until the next ratings grab. Or until she realises that Candy has all the $$$ and she is probably gonna get jack.


Monday, July 27, 2009

Music Monday - From My Keyboard to your Ipod

In honour of Virgin Fest yesterday and the fact that my eternal musical love The Dave Matthews Band were on Letterman this evening, I am gonna go back a few years for this installment.

I am trying to narrow down the selection of Dave songs.... F*ck me, it is impossible. There are so many songs that i love and adore. But I will stick to the 2 songs I can listen to over and over again. Say Goodbye and Dancing Nancies. The Dave Matthews Band is the band I have seen the most live. 8 times so far I think. Love love love them.

True story (well not actually true, cause it is totally hypothetical). But if I had enough money to not have to work I would buy an RV and follow DMB around North America for a summer. Or two. Or forever. I have seen them two nights in a row and they have played a different set each night. Some overlap obviously, but so amazing. Saw them last September at Madison F*cking Square Garden. It was beyond fabulous. I am getting giddy just thinking about it!

I have seen Ben Harper 4 times. Love him hard. See earlier post about Virgin Fest. He played at the Orpheum here in Vancity about 2 years ago. The Orpheum is a gorgeous old theatre that is the prettiest venue outside of Malkin Bowl in Stanley Park. They were all dandified. Wearing suits and hats and looking all spiffy. It was awesome. Ben was in a vest and long shirt and looked so Hawt. He came out to the end of the stage with no microphone and sang pure and sweet. Fucking unbelievable. Then at Thunderbird Stadium years ago, her brought his son on stage and sat him on his lap for a few songs. So blonde and cute. I wish it had been me.

Balls. I could sit here all night picking favourite songs. these are probably not my absolute faves, but I am sleepy and need to make a decision. So I am going with one angsty fave and one happy fave. Enjoy!


There are no words for Madonna's arms

Yikes!!! These photos totally make me cringe...... who am I trying to kid? They actually make me throw up in my mouth just a little. I get that she is in the middle of a gruelling tour where she dances and sings and pretends to care where she is. When in reality she is silently counting down how many show she has left....... yes I am a little bitter. She slept her way through the Vancity concert last year. It pretty much sucked balls. Which by the looks of thing, Madge may have now.

WTF is up with her arms? These veiny, ropey protrusions totally give me the heebie jeebies. Even if she is carrying something in her arms, that is just wrong wrong wrong. Does anyone in this world find that even remotely attractive?? She is likely to scare small children and the elderly if they see her walking the streets. Maybe she was in that new Zombieland movie? Which looks awesome BTW. Trailer below. Looks awesome.


Ben Harper plays the Blues at Virgin Fest in Vancouver

Yesterday it was stupid hot here in Vancity. It was step outside your house and you are sweating hot. Someone with a little less class than i may say that it was hotter than a camel's crotch on a sunny day in the desert. Not the kind of weather I enjoy. At all. I normally stay inside where there is AC when the mercury goes that high. But when I was offered free tickets to Virgin Fest at Deer Lake Park in Burnaby, I thought, why the Hell not?

The first day of the Festival was interrupted by the crazy thunderstorm that pummelled the city throughout the evening. It got so bad that The Roots were unable to go onstage. Bummer for all those there on Saturday. Virgin quickly spread the word that all Saturday tix would be honoured for Sunday's performances as well. Not super packed though. Too f*cking hot probably.

Note the largest flip-flops in existence! Hey, they were free and came with Malibu flavoured chap stick! Delicious! And the shrub girls on the top right. Uncomfortable - probably. But they got on stage with De La Soul! Why that is a good thing, I really don't know.......

Okay, moving on......

In my humble opinion, the lineup for Sunday was much better than the Saturday - De La Soul, Jarvis Cocker, Sonic Youth, Metric and Ben Harper and the Relentless 7 all graced the main stage. It was too damn hot to wander between the stages, so we didn't even venture over to the Festival Stage to see any of the acts over there. We parked our asses on the rise and tried not to melt. Jarvis Cocker could be found after his set, wandering the crowd and enjoying the afternoon with the rest of us!

All bands were good. But for me, it was pretty much all about Ben. His new album is the kick! A new band, and a definite new sound. A lot harder and to me, very reminiscent of music from the Vietnam era. I have never commented on a drummer before, but he was fricking awesome. So good. The whole set was wicked. Many were wishing for Ben to play lots of old tunes, but no such luck. New band, new sound, new songs, get over it people! Only a few old songs and the rest was the new album. Fantastic and amazing as always. 4th time I have seen him and he blows me away each time.

Metric, lead by Emily Haines were also fabulous. There was a lot of love for this band in the crowd. Her voice is strong and pure and beautiful and she radiates and energy that is totally infectious. She got the crowd on it's feet from start to finish.

During Ben's set, I became obsessed with capturing this image perfectly. They are behind the stage where the sound guys were set up and I thought it looked pretty cool. These are not super fantastic quality, but I thought they were rad.

Virgin Fest was a fun day. We snagged a cab pretty quick so I was home in an hour which was pretty impressive. It was f*cking hot. Too f*cking hot. But good tunes, good friends made the heat bearable. It was the perfect prelude for Bumbershoot in September where I have 3 days of music and fun! Yay.