Wednesday, July 8, 2009

Swatch Dogs & Diet Coke Heads - The Sequel?

In my daily trolling of other sites like mine (well sites that people actually read and the writers of actually make money off of), there have been a few stories about Winona Ryder running off her mouth about a Heathers sequel again. OMFG. Time to privide a little context: It is pretty obvious that I love movies. But, I have a very hard time picking a favourite movie. It makes me very uncomfortable. I can normally narrow it down to a top five. And even then, that list changes frequently. But one thing never changes. And that is my deep and abiding love for the movie Heathers. It is always on my list and normally at the top.

So when I read these posts that were hinting at a Heathers sequel, I almost peed my pants. I haven't decided if said peeing of the pants would be due to excitement or disgust. I am very torn. Because more Heathers shenanigans could equal total Amazingness. Shannon Doherty alone is enough to make this awesome. But Heathers 2 - Return of Heather Chandler would more likely equal total sh*t.

Sequels are not necessarily a good thing. Case in point is Gone With the Wind. Yes, Gone With the Wind. One of my absolute favourite books (I know, I know, I am a very complicated person - don't judge me). The sequel - I think it was called Scarlett - made me want to stab myself with something sharp and pointy. It beyond sucked balls. What if they did that to Heathers? What if Heather Chandler, Kurt, Ram and JD miraculously came back and everyone starts singing Kumbaya? Which they would, cause you would at least need Christian to make this movie. Ugh. So as much as this kills me, I think the sequel to Heathers is a very very very bad idea.

Thankfully, the director of the movie - Michael Lehman has stuck a fork in these sequel ideas. Winona Ryder apparently likes to bring up the sequel idea every few years, just to remind us that at some point she was relevant. In the 90's. In an interview Lehman gave to he stated "Winona’s been talking about this for years — she brings it up every once in a while and Dan Waters and I will joke about it, but as far as I know there’s no script and no plans to do the sequel."

There you have it. Winona needs to just sit the f*ck down, and continue to not be invited to do any major press for the Star Trek movie. Sorry, "did that sound bitchy?"

But on a related Heathers note, I would love to see what is happening with the rumoured Broadway Production that I read about earlier this year. Some are saying "F*ck me gently with a chainsaw" to this one, but I seriously think this could be beyond fantastic. Could you imagine them singing" I love my dead Gay son", or how the strip croquet and cow tipping would play out. Trust me, it'll be very. Remember, "the extreme always seems to make an impression". A movie like this would make an amazing musical. I would be on a plane to NYC to see it. I'll bring the Cornuts!


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