Saturday, July 25, 2009

Miley Cyrus is ruining everything

While someone like Johnny Depp automatically makes everything better, there are people in this world who taint anything they touch. Sort of the opposite of the Midas Touch. Instead of turning things to Gold everything they touch turns to sh*t.

Paris Hilton is one of those people. Miley Cyrus is another. And Miley is singlehandedly about to ruin two things, one of which I care deeply about.

According to Lainey, Miley will be filming for one day on the set of the Sex and The City sequel. WTF? They are gonna go from Jennifer Hudson to Miley? Ugh. The world sux and I just need to be in charge and make everything better. In my world Miley and her creepy soul-patch wearing father would go back to whatever hick town they are from, get married and raise a passel of kids. They could do recitals at Church every Sunday. We would never have to hear from either of them again. Wouldn't that be nice?

The other thing she is ruining is kinda silly already, but you know that Ms Miley will work it all she can. VH1 Divas has thankfully been on hiatus for 4 years. It started off 10 years ago as a fantastic idea - recognising the great women in music - Aretha, Tina, Celene, Whitney. Those women whose unique and amazing contribution to music is without question. Those women who have earned the right to call themselves Divas. Women who deserve to be a Diva.

This year's inductees are a little different. They are Kelly Clarkson, Adele, Leona Lewis & Miley Cyrus. Now I am not discounting the undeniable talent of Kelly, Adele and even Leona (not really a fan, but the girl can sing). These three women are incredible talents. Adele in particular - love love love for her. Saw her last year and she was amazingness. She is like Amy Winehouse, without the unfortunate crack habit.

But Miley F*cking Cyrus? Just because a bunch of tween girls, with no taste in music beg their parents to buy her CD's that makes her talented? Girl can't hold a note or a tune. Well, what should I expect from VH1? The Pussycat Dolls made the cut in 2004. Again I say Ugh.

The photos in this post are just a snapshot of Holy Roller Miley Cyrus upholding her good Christian beliefs, be it by posting half naked photos of herself on myspace/twitter or calling in the paps to snap shots of her "working" on a movie - in the water - in a sheer t-shirt. Miley Cyrus is 17 years old people. And she loves Jesus.

Ugh. When I rule the world, this will be but a distant memory.


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