Friday, July 10, 2009

Gene Simmons Wants You To Pee On Him

There is only one man in the world who may be capable of toppling Speidi as the King & Queen of shameless self promotion. Gene Simmons, Bassist and Singer from 80's Glam-Rock group Kiss, is in a completely different stratosphere to any of the other fame whores out there. There isn't anything he wouldn't put his name on if you threw enough cash at him. But this latest product surprised even me. And I am fairly shock proof.

Apparently, this story first surfaced in mid June, but it is the first I had heard of it and it is too amazing not to mention. Coming soon to a bathroom near you, Gene Simmons Family Jewels Urinal Cakes.

Gene issued the following statement: "

"Yep. For all of you who have always wanted to pee on my face!!! Now you can. A&E has put 'Gene Simmons Family Jewels' urinal cakes throughout the country, featuring my face on the cakes. They're in most bathrooms. Now, for those of you who need detail = all you need to do is point your tool into the urinal, hit the 'cake' with your flow and don't be surprised if the urinal cake talks back to you!!! And please, leave the urinal cake in the pee hole for others to enjoy."

Umm Okay. I am not sure what to say about this. Except that this is the most amazingly fitting use of Gene Simmons I have heard of in forever. The man who claims to pissed all over women for most of his professional life is finally getting some payback. I have tried to discover what the cakes say, but no one seems to know. This stunt was pulled in mid June in the lead up to the new season of Gene's A&E Faux-Reality show Gene Simmons Family Jewels.

And to make this even more amazing (I know, how is that possible), apparently people have been stealing them. Of course they have. Middle aged Kiss fans have been stealing stinky used urinal cakes just to have a piece of Gene Simmons closer to them. I really hope that are washing them before hanging them in their shrine to Gene and his dirty, dirty tongue.


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